Let's Reflect

"He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love." Song of Solomon 2:4

This morning, I went to the 9:30am service at my new church home, Elevation-Uptown. Walking into service, I thought to myself- This feeling in my heart, is it heaviness? No... It was more like it was busy. Chaotic, scurrying through the crowded confines of my mind trying to make sense of what was on my conscious and deciding if it was in sync...

Spoiler Alert- They were no where close to being on the same page.

So many things coming in and out of that space between my ears- My current job frustrating me until the breaking point that comes on the 6:30am commute. Tears, sniffles, and sad radio songs were the soundtrack to this past week. Missing loved ones at home, feeling a need-with every passing second- to improve myself or find something to satisfy my craving for change.



Now I won't drag you in to a pity party- I know I have a lot going for me right now...
Four months into my new job and every day I come home with enough energy to maybe pop open the microwave to heat up a bowl of soup. But this is the job I prayed for, and God delivered. It can be satisfying, a long day at work- only to come home and get into an outfit unsuitable for the public eye should I still wish to hold on to an ounce of dignity.

I am also training for my longest race to date- the Disney full marathon. Happening in less than two months. Every weekend from here on out, I am promised a 14+ mile run. Sorry knees and back, you are about to be very very sore- but I promise to ice you and take care of you when you want to cry.


I am also going home on Wednesday to spend some much needed time with friends and family. I am starting to compile a variety of DIY Christmas gift ideas that will require my crafty side. Writing blogs and short stories with hot cups of coffee has been a go-to stress reliever should I receive any free time, as well as playing flag football and cooking spaghetti squash (my new favorite food!)


Why am I giving you what may seem like a trivial amount of information about my life? What does this have to do with the sermon I originally brought up at the start of this rant? Well, it is what sparked this little moment of reflection that I hope opens a doorway for you to sit down and do just the same- Reflect.

Another story that back-boned the sermon today was that of Luke 9:14-17:

¹⁴ (About five thousand men were there.) But he said to his disciples, ‘Make them sit down in groups of about fifty each.’ ¹⁵ The disciples did so, and everyone sat down. ¹⁶ Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke them. Then he gave them to the disciples to distribute to the people. ¹⁷ They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basket fulls of broken pieces that were left over."

I am thankful for the resurrection of this account back into my mind to carry with me through this week. It was a sweet reminder that we can't give our best, our all- if we don't ask God to bless us and our actions first. Without the help and promise from God, that loaf (let's make this bread signify our actions and deeds) won't feed the masses- heck- it may not even fill YOU! And as bright as day- this concept reminded me- I'm not full because I am not asking to be guided, to be blessed, to be loved... Only EXPECTING it.

If we wish for our days to be filled with meaningful purpose and drive, don't we need to thank and ask the one who gave us this ability first in order to gain ownership to give it away? What's on my heart and what is in my mind is implanted there from the fingertips of God- and without glorifying the giver, how can I take ownership in order to fulfill his wish for us to give back?

A little reminder- we are framed by the banner of "Love"-so be the example of love by thanking the giver, feeling it, embracing its presence, and then reciprocating it.

And there's my reflection for the day- Happy Monday Eve, Loves.

The Mixtape-A Short Story

She thought about him a lot. She still does, really. She asks herself constantly...Why had she once "held out" when she should have been "holding on?" She whispers these thoughts in prayers at night, her eyes closed tighter than the pores in the sidewalk. Tears saturating the concrete and inching down her cheek like miniscule pools of blood from a paper cut. Mixed with mascara, it stains her skin only to leave a hint of regret. "Well," she thought as she sleepily stares at the shale remnants in the mirror upon waking, "I'm glad no one will see these but me." She wipes them away with her sleeve and tip toes into the shower.

A picture, a comment, a string of familiar melodies. She swallows hard at each and every one. Suddenly, a memory dances on the rain-soaked windowsill. A mix tape from their first dance. At the time, it seemed dismissive- a silly high school crush that entertained the thought of being cared for by the opposite sex. "Oh," she thought, "this'll pass and he'll see I'm no good for him."

A wooden trinket box, carved by hand. Delicate and precise down to the brass hinges that were silent when she opened the top. "Happy Birthday" he said, and she smiled. "Do you like it?" She shut the lid and placed it beside her on the couch, not noticing the hand carved ridges, detailed intricacies he'd included for her to notice. It truly was remarkable, but at the time, her eyes glazed over with boredom- only making it seem mundane. "Thank you, I love it," she said then. Only now, as she cradles it in her lap five years later tracing the rim where his fingers once carved,  she finally means those words once on her lips.

She steps on a folding ladder, hovering over the hardwood in her closet. It's moving day and she tosses the last remaining hangers in the dirty clothes bin to be carried to the car. She was scared and nervous- she called him the night before. His words were the ones she needed.
"Hey stranger!"
"Hey there. How are you?" He sounded strong, independent.
"I'm good. Moving in the morning." A slight pause. He didn't notice.
"Oh that's right! You excited?"
"Absolutely! I'm just ready to move on with my life. Do something diff..." She was cut off, before her lie solidified, by the tiny click of an incoming call.
"Sorry, I have to go! I'll call you back." *click*
"bye" she said to the wall. He never called.

She throws the remaining bags and crates of mismatched socks and yearbooks into the back of her car. Her parents step out onto the lawn with a pink container made of transparent plastic. "Don't you want this?" they ask her with outstretched arms. She takes it as her heart clenches tighter than fists. A pile of college denial letters, two certificates for athletic excellence, and a wooden umbrella taken from atop her great grandmother's dresser. She nods and tucks it under her right arm. She looks down at its side. And there it lay, once made of wet malleable clay. Now a snowman painted by the innocent hands of a child lost in the clutches of infatuation. White body, a purple scarf, tiny black eyes no bigger than the tip of a ball point pen. A smile etched in, just as thin, rested below an orange triangle nose.

She unclasps the lid and pinches the snowman. Turning it over in her fingers, she reveals a heart scraped in the back- its identity. She places it in her right pocket. It will gather heat from her thighs through her jeans and remind her of how love never grows cold if you feed it, even if you initially neglect it. Her mom kisses her goodbye, her dad hugs her tight. A familiar quote emerges from her subconscious... "I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both." She climbs in the drivers seat and turns through her collection of discs accuulated through her adolescence. Only to retrieve the mix tape as she shifts the car in drive.

Saturday Thoughts

I listen to music way too much. I mean, WAY too much... or maybe just enough.
Being a vegan is making my eyeballs whiter. Weird? Day 4 on the V Tree!
Does yoga make people happy? Or do happy people do yoga?
I want a French Bulldog more than I want anything else. And name him Sir Charles.
Kors watches. Period
Men's forearms are sexy
There's a dog hair on my ring finger, almost mistook it as my own. Ew
I need to vaccuum...
And nap (not necessarily in that order)
I'm seeing my favorite Lizzy Boo tonight. Bring on the adventures!
Wimbledon. Sharapova
Olympics. Beckham
Go make cake, self! I finally got a big girl job (cross that off the summer list) more about this on Monday
Is it Autumn yet? I want scarves and a soy pumpkin latte, pwease!
Pinterest, you always save me from wasting time during my morning insomnia episodes
I found a jump rope!
I look goofy in bowling shoes.
Does Vanilla Ice melt?
My veins free flow with coffee
Maybe I'll start a photo journal
Putting up a help-wanted ad: In need of a good cuddle buddy
I am building a life, one small brick and smile at a time. Hashtag-Success
I moved to a pretty wonderful city...

 

A Different Kind of Love Story

"Geez, what a beautiful parking lot!"- No One Ever

March Outfits Are Going Green

Every month has its color. And of course with St. Patrick's Day coming up, March raises its green thumb to salute the day of Guinness, Mint, Four Leaf Clovers, and Luck above all Luck.

When I think of this month, I can't help but dream about an excursion to Ireland, where the color scheme of brown, gold and *you guessed it* GREEN! is everywhere. But until I make the big bucks to afford a luxurious trip to the land of luck, I'll simply wear out my favorite trends to fit it across seas.

March Outfits Are Going Green by maxann-keller featuring vintage earrings

Topshop sleeveless shirt, $64
Knit cardigan, £50
A line skirt, $37
Heart pump, $35
Forever 21 shoulder handbag, $16
1928 vintage earrings, $14
Red Herring gold bangle, £12
Gold watch, £9.60
H M leather belt, £7.99



Call me crazy, but I LOVE mixing different shades of brown, especially with grays and other neutrals. This small green cardigan and vibrant bejeweled earrings are perfect for the month of all things green. And of course, at the end of every rainbow awaits gold... and LOTS of it for all us pretty ladies!

How are you all celebrating St. Patrick's Day this year? Any big plans in the making?

Get Real, Barbie

I found this after wandering around my Facebook timeline this morning and it made me do a double take.

Ladies! If you've ever attacked your own positive body image and this Mattel toy played a role model in your life at one point, I urge you to read and put into perspective:

Eating Disorder Awareness Month---And Barbie has an eating disorder!

• If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5’9” tall, have a 39” bust, an 18” waist, 33” hips and a size 3 shoe.
• Barbie calls this a “full figure” and likes her weight at 110 lbs.
• At 5’9” tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.
• If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
• Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled “How to Lose Weight” with directions inside stating simply “Don’t eat.”

Read that last bullet again... I think that's incredibly messed up. That message reached millions of little girls who could have gotten the impression that Barbie's secret of not eating is the key to being beautiful, since she is the symbol of beauty ((or is she)), kiddies.

Don't fall victim to society's depiction of a "beautiful body". Because they come in all different shapes and sizes. We weren't made from a mold or out of plastic. You were made by the hands of an artist, creating everyone different and beautiful for the world to learn from and appreciate. Enjoy that body, baby, cause it's the only one you're going to get!



Thank you, Maya Foss, for sharing.

Growing Up

Right before I left Vacation with my amazing parents, my dad kissed my forehead and whispered
"You are so beautiful, don't grow-up too fast."

But being that my 21st is a mere weeks away, I can't help but feel like I want to be a grown-up.

Finding a job, exploring the world and all the people in it, and endless opportunities...
But I also can't help but think there can be drawn a thin line between grown-up and growing-up.

Before break, (blame it on the homework, crazy work schedules, and change), I felt like growing up was becoming almost impossible and the farthest thing from my own reality.

But since the flight home, I have started to realize that although I want to be a grown-up, I can still be myself (Change with few to no change at all). I believe that growing up isn't about change, but about finding what you already have within you and adjusting it to how you WANT to live.

Take pride in your work, you may never know who is looking through your words and accomplishments. Look your best, always. That may mean heels, dresses, and makeup to some, and that's ok!
But also, feel your best and know you look your best when you are confident in the fact that you are and always will be beautiful.

Just a side note on Growing Up- I may not be a Grown Up yet, and I may never be...
But every step I take, I am sure to keep shining and exploring just what I have to offer the world around me

Happy Tuesday, Love Doves

Girls in Curlz

I am so excited to see more and more celebs sporting the "Curly" look.

For me, ringlet curls, beachy waves, and tousled ends have always served some kind of elegance to the way a girl presents herself. And with a thick head of blonde wavy hair, it's a relief that the "strait edge" look is slowly fading away...
For Example...

Love Miley's long hair with wave and curl...

      Or Taylor's Natural Ringlets          

How about Lauren Conrad's natural subtle wave... 

Just ecstatic to see these kinds of hairstyles coming back into the spot light.
 Bring a little body and life back into that glorious head of hair you have, ladies. 

Happy Hump Day, World!