A Letter to Me at 18- The finale of the 4

Dear 18 year old me...

You thought this final letter would never come, I bet! Well, here it is- the grand finale, the final chapter of the quartet. While this letter serves with no theme, no overall idea to take with you into the office or out on a date, it is still a very important message in which I hope you take to heart. Short and sweet, here are my final words of advice that I hope you'll take with a grain of salt and a pinch of sugar-

Take leaps of faith, the bigger the better. The landing may be rougher after some dismounts than others, but you will not fall on your face as long as you keep your head high and your heart open to new experiences.

Crd*t

Learn to enjoy being alone. Learn to enjoy days without breaks from human interaction. Time is time and whether you are sharing it with your closest friends, mere acquaintances, or alone, it is time that is to be savored and soaked up by simply being alive.

Enjoy your body, please. Don't compare it to magazines, Victoria's Secret catalogues, TV actresses, and even your friends on Facebook. Instead of focusing on what it looks like, work it to enable you to do amazing things. You've already built up amazing strength to jump over 5 feet, 4 inches in the high jump. You will go on to run over a couple thousand miles with the short and long runs accumulated throughout your late teens and early twenties.

Eat right, fuel a motivated and active spirit. Don't dwell on the fact that you are either pear shaped, apple shaped, strait shaped, etc... "Confident" is the best body type, and the best thing about that is the fact you get to choose that body type- so choose it and move on.

Crd*t

Don't ever shy away from an opportunity to strike up a conversation. Even if it's with the man sitting next to you on the plane, the girl waiting behind you in the coffee shop line, or the family browsing the supermarket aisle beside you. Human interaction is a complex, beautiful, strange, and bemusing thing. We'll never understand why, but just complimenting her hair or their children's smiles brings immense joy in many forms to you and the ones on the receiving end.

Laugh. Everyday. Notice how it makes you feel. Now, go out and make sure that you can make at least one person experience that happiness just by being in your presence. If you can make someone laugh and encourage happiness, you are doing a great service to humanity.

Crd*t

Learn to enjoy children. You will want them some day (don't worry- not at 23, but you will later I'm sure). Plus, they know what's going on. Their spunk, enthusiasm, perspectives, and joy are the key ingredient to a young soul- keep this young spirit within yourself. Our bodies may grow old, but you can choose to always be young at heart.

And finally- don't take life so seriously. I know this is a hard concept to grasp (I know because I am still trying to conquer this myself). But every single person on this earth is on the same team just trying to make it in this chaotic arena we call Earth. Thank God every day for your blessings, laugh off negativity, and just be you- you're the only You this planet will ever have so make your presence light, lasting, and full of life.

Until you're here sitting behind your computer, typing letters to your ghost of the past, remember you are well on your way to the rest of your life. Every step counts, every word matters, and your thoughts define you. Make them beautiful, and make them yours.

Love always-
M

A letter to me at 18... Relationships

Dear 18 year old me…. Part III

Last night I re-watched the Friends finale- you know the one: Rachel is about to leave for Paris and Ross runs after her to persuade her to stay with him and their daughter in NYC. The episode that made you cry the first time you saw it and you had no idea why because relationships and love just don’t seem to be your highest priority at 18... nor do you want it to fog your concept of reality. But 5 years later… here’s what I have to say about that- 

crdt

You are 23. And you are single… I know what you’re thinking, “23 and single… What does this mean? Am I just so super successful in my career I don’t have time to date!? Or maybe I developed a stutter and grew a third nostril rendering me indescribably hideous? Well… no. Neither of those assumptions are correct (especially the second, thank God!) You are not incredibly successful in your career *see previous letter*, and you still have your blonde hair, clearer skin, and LUCKILY still only one petite, normal nose.

You have dated many guys, but have not found the ONE yet. It’ll be difficult but try to find peace in that, even though you have been to over 15 of your friends’ weddings in the past three years and gone single to every single one of them. Some of these weddings are for people you know from high school, but mostly those of new friends you’re about to make. Yes, you are going to make new friends that will stay with you for your lifetime. Just wait- the few that remain from high school and the new ones you keep even after college- they’re the best things that will ever happen to you. Evaluate your friendships by the level of happiness each and every person you form a relationship with brings you. If they bring you stress, don't bring them along on your journey. If they bring out the best in you, hold on to them no matter the distance between you both. People are your greatest treasures- you'll learn that even the dullest of  moments in life can turn into the grandest adventures if shared with the right people.

Remember that you deserve a godly man, one who loves Jesus and follows the 10 commandments. Trust me- your mother will want to test him when you bring him home. Oh, and remember when your grandfather said you want to find someone like him… you’ll roll your eyes but he is right. He taught your dad how to be a good man, father, and husband. And your dad will prove to be the best model of what you will need in a man to be a greatest husband to you, father to your children, and man of Christ. Just wait, he will blow your mind with his love. So yes, find someone like your dad and grandfather.

Oh, and don’t be ashamed to admit you’re a hopeless romantic like I know you are when you’re 18 years old. It doesn’t mean you’re “too girly” or “soft” or anything in the vicinity of “childish”. Being a romantic means you’re opening up for the chance to experience extreme happiness with another individual. It means you expect class out of the men who pursue you and that you demand respect in all of your relationships. Being a hopeless romantic will keep you wanting picnics like described in Frank Sinatra songs (yes, you’ll learn to love Sinatra), black tie and long dress dances, and flowers on your doorstep after a hard day.  Being a hopeless romantic will also keep you on your toes to respect your man and treat him like a prince- make him feel loved on a regular basis with sweet notes on his lampshade to wake up to, dinner made from scratch and served on your back porch, impromptu dates to the batting cage or a run in the rain. Being a hopeless romantic doesn't mean desiring everything you see in a Katherine Heigle romantic comedy- it means you love to be loved and to love others in a creative fashion- so embrace it and NEVER let your heart grow weary of it.

There will be guys who tell you that this is a too-high-expectation out of them and that fairytales aren’t real. And you will keep in mind that not every day is filled with these moments. Some days will be marked with disappointment, feuds, and disagreements… but don’t let it lower your standards to be treated like anything less than you know you want.

crdt

That being said… be prepared:  you will have your heart broken. It’s not fun, nor is it pretty. You will be upset (some for longer periods than others) and you will deal with them in varying ways. There will be buckets of tears shed… and that’s OK. But remember to keep your chin up and keep moving forward. At the end of the day, you can escape the voices of everyone else, but you will always remain with your own thoughts and opinions of yourself. Make sure those are happy and optimistic. Because boyfriends will come and go, and they will play a role in how you shape yourself- but let it ALWAYS be for the development of who you want to be. When they go, take what you learned and apply it to become the best version of yourself (and to find someone better for you). And above all else- Keep believing in your happy ending.

Until the next lengthy note from me… keep going, lovely!

All the best,

M

A Letter to Me... Part II *What is a Career?*

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Dear 18 year old self,

Me again. You know what I was thinking this morning as I was writing this letter to you? This is sort of like the episode of the office when Jim sends Dwight faxes “from the future”… One of your favorite episodes.  By the way, on this day, October 18^th, 2008…. DON’T DRINK THE COFFEE! You’ll thank me later…

Speaking of the office, I wish to send you a letter to better prepare you for the working world and the adventures you’ll embark on in order to find your calling. I can’t even tell you what your career is and what you’re working towards. Really, it’s impossible for me to do so because I am ((almost)) in as much of the dark right now as you are at the age of 18. But this is not a bad thing… and here’s why-

You will hold multiple jobs throughout the next five years. You will work in several restaurants as anything from a baker to a barista. You’ll also be an office assistant, PR coordinator, intern, event manager, data analyst and advertising consultant. These will all be short-lived positions, but all of them will offer the opportunity to learn what you like to do day-to-day and what you do not. Don’t get frustrated if you fail at one of them (I won’t tell you which) because this will show you that you are better suited for a position that will open more doors to the people you want to surround yourself with, the work you wish to pursue in the long run, and the freedom to produce the crops of your heart.

Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s when it comes to pursuing the right major in college or your overall career after graduation. Each and every single person you meet will experience set-backs and moments of doubt about what they wish to be in the working world. It’s the people who experiment with multiple majors, consider numerous career paths, or juggle several jobs at one time that will gain a wealth of knowledge about what’s out there and the kind of person they are hoping to become. Go to them for advice when you need it. And by the way- your undergraduate major does not decide what you will be doing right after college nor does it define your career. But- make sure you use your time wisely and choose to study what you enjoy while you have the resources to.

One thing I did not do that I wish I did (and I beg of you to consider now while you can)- go abroad while in school. I’m sitting here at the age of 23 and I still have yet to go to a Spanish speaking country like I wished for in high school. Your brother did it, and you should too. Learn diverse cultures, adapt to differences so they are no longer differences but instead- valuable perspectives, and contemplate how you can transfer your understanding to others so they may too wish to close the gap on prejudice anywhere you go. You’ll know people who DID go abroad and they will always tell you this was something they will never regret.

Remember that money isn’t everything when it comes to your first job out of college. Here’s a shocker- the economy is hardly getting better, and this will make things challenging for you and your classmates. For the time being, apply for internships and don’t be discouraged if you work for less than you expect when starting off. Hands on experience in something you love for less income will bring you more wealth and feed your overall contentment. Don’t settle for a job that provides a fat paycheck only to pay for material things that suppress your unhappiness in that position. If you are afraid of only one thing- find fear in becoming unhappy- this fear will push you to be optimistic and driven towards your greatest capabilities- especially in the workforce.

Ban negativity from your everyday conversations- with others and with yourself. Complaining never got anyone anywhere- and in a world where time can make the difference between succeeding and receding- choose the path to higher ground, climb like hell, and don’t look back. Like mentioned in my first letter, the tougher classes and job positions will lend way to a more enjoyable and understandable horizon of opportunity.

Work hard, strive to yield results you can take pride in, and take every opportunity offered to you to learn something new. And if none of this seems relevant to you today… remember one thing- DON’T DRINK THE COFFEE!

Love, Future Dwight
M

A Letter to Me... Part I

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Dear 18 year old me,

I know this must be strange, receiving a letter from yourself at the age of 23. No, this isn’t a school assignment (you’ve been out of school now for 2 years, by the way) and no, I’m not sitting lonely in an empty apartment with 14 cats scratching at my bedpost. You still hate cats.

I am writing this to you on an idle Wednesday morning. I am sitting in my cubical at work in Charlotte, staring at 32 unread emails and drinking coffee. It’s almost the holidays and I’m thinking of what to be for Halloween. But most importantly, on my walk into work this morning, I was thinking about the past five years and how much things have changed. How much I’ve grown, how much I’ve learned, how much I have obtained and how much I have lost. I will be writing you four letters of reflection and advice, and this is the first-

Love your family with all of your heart. You already do this, I know, and you will continue to do this until this day. Your family will go through hard times in the next few years. You all make it through only BECAUSE of the love and support you carry for each other. And NEVER take them for granted.

Don’t be afraid to get excited about the little things. Celebrate Halloween with silly costumes, not "sexy" ones. Run the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot with your friends and don’t be afraid to jog slow. Get up early to see the sunrise on the beach before class (Yes, you go to school at the beach). Take up surfing, and go outside in the many snow storms you are to experience.  Talk to friends on the phone when you can and listen to what your parents have to say when they call you. Go to concerts that you REALLY want to go to, pay the extra $5 for that peppermint mocha on a cold December day. These little things will make up a big part of your character, and therefore, the course of your life. No matter how inconsequential the task may seem, if it makes you smile- DO IT.

Before you graduate high school, thank Mrs. Jones for all of the Spanish lessons she taught you. True, she seems very strict and makes the class almost “impossible” to comprehend sometimes, but I promise you- you will go into college knowing more than you think and do better than you ever would have with any other teacher. She was a tough cookie- but sometimes that makes for the sweetest rewards.  Also, thank Mrs. Tringali. Sure, she made you read about a book a week for five months and your hand cramped more than you would like to admit from all of the essays (and rewrites) she required, but you are seriously ahead of the game come college and she deserves a lot of recognition for your future success. It's the toughest classes that make the road ahead smoother to travel to your preferred destination.

Read a book a month.

crdt

Write a poem every day when you find the time. Strive to gain knowledge in every nook and cranny of the library that you can. I am not a novelist, I am not even in the publishing business, but I am telling you now- keep up your writing and strive to use your passions for your success. You love to write! And although you don’t believe it now, you are very good at it. It is your strongest asset and so much of your creativity rests in your fingertips.

Have a passion. Don’t go through life thinking that all things come to those who wander. Find a passion, work hard to allow this passion to provide for your life. If you allow this to happen sooner than later, this won’t be your work, it’ll be your wealth. You will have friends who have done this for far longer than you have and you will envy their happiness every once and a while. You are happy and successful today, by the way- but at 23, you know you’re only on the cusp of something great. Don’t let it just sit on the shelf and gather dust as you sit on your computer browsing Facebook (a social media site better than Myspace that you WILL spend too much time on). 

Hold your morals and values. They are what make you unique, strong, valuable, and motivated. You are still very hard on yourself- try not to let this become detrimental. It is ok to strive for improvement, but once you begin striving for perfection, know you’re only going to burn yourself out. You will make numerous mistakes, morals will be briefly forgotten in weak moments, and values will become muddled. But they aren’t far gone. You will learn that life is good at distracting you, tempting you, trying you, and teaching you. Don’t be afraid to slip and take a few steps backwards. You have done this many times- but you have managed to take two giant steps forward after the fact. 

crdt

Keep up your running but don't let it define you. You will learn that you have an irregular curvature in your lower lumbar and you will still fight for the chance to run in college... You will fail... kind of. You will go on to run half marathons, a full marathon, a triathalon, and more than a handful of 5k's. Running may seem like your passion now, but trust me- God put it in your life for another reason and it serves you well... just not on the front burner. Just enjoy what your body can do and love how it makes you feel.

Also, learn to dance to good music, please. Take up some kind of dancing like ballroom, interpretive, even just gym-class hip-hop for cardio. And STAY AWAY from the Twerk. Miley Cyrus is no longer a cute Disney star, and I truly believe the Twerk is to blame…This doesn’t mean you can’t learn the “wobble”, the “wop”, or the “burney”. These are very important, I promise.

And on that note, I will leave you to wonder about what would ever possess a human being to name a dance from the sound you make when you swat a fly on the ceiling. Three more letters are to come… but remember- You’re always living the next moment of the rest of your life. Make it count.

Love, M